A Christmas Future with Pirates
A Christmas themed flash fiction based on my characters from Where Pirates Go to Die. On display at the Mount Pleasant Public Library.
The Xmas Log
By: IE
Castellano
My crew and I returned to the Tigerlily tonight without
having to maim anyone. A Christmas miracle.
The Christmas party slogged, especially since Dirk made us
take anti-poison nanos that blocked me from getting an eggnog induced buzz. His
caution is not unfounded, though. No one knows how this new Milky Way
Consortium will act even with the different aliens represented alongside humans
in the government. My idea of caution is armored formal wear that hides a few
blades from the entrance scanners and bringing along our alien crew member.
Gogi turned heads in her native regalia. Her feathers
sparkled as if she rubbed in some of the pink quartz dust of her home planet.
We were the epitome of what the Consortium tried to achieve with their “share
Christmas with aliens” party: Humans and aliens working together.
Well, until they announced us. The fear in the eyes of
supposedly former foes when taking a step or two back never gets old. Best
Christmas present ever.
The four of us—Gogi, Rock, Dirk, and me—wandered around the
expansive gathering room in Consortium Tower. Gogi gorged herself on as many
appetizers as her four arms could reach. Dirk disapproved of the Christmas
Tree, calling its decorations from around the Galaxy garish. Rock avoided Santa
Claus. Dirk and I thought he knew the person in the red suit from his previous
life. I wonder what my parents would’ve thought of me hobnobbing with the types
of people who had them killed.
While we consorted with the enemy, Cheat looted Dirk’s old
headquarters. The Consortium commandeered his little shack, so, of course, he
needed to know why and make sure he didn’t leave anything of importance hiding
in the walls. Cheat made it back before we did with mementos, data crystals,
and a crazy, Galaxy assassin android. I will deal with Cheat later.
Eventually, a human Consortium bigwig and an alien
representative—the genuinely happy to see us, Okett—finally told us why we were
invited. The bigwig mentioned mending bridges, clearing bounties, expunging
records, and other blubber. Anyway, they want me—notorious Naria, Captain of
the Tigerlily, Pirate who saved the Galaxy—that me—to be an Alien First Contact
Attaché for the Milky Way Consortium.
Okett took me aside later to explain how me and my crew were
the first humans any aliens encountered that treated them with respect. He and
the other alien peoples needed me to reach out to secluded aliens not some
Consortium-controlled blowhard.
I agreed to be whats-it-thingy. I can use it. Bonus: Okett
does not trust his Consortium human counterparts. This new job will need all
the nitrobooster I can get.
Gorm has the android on ice to remove the previous
government’s spyware from her system. Bob went on a mission of his own,
stealing libations and guaranteed-no-poison tasties. Time to finally be merry.
Naria out.
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